Finding yourself

Take it from me when I tell you that so many of life's hardest questions could be solved if you know who you are.You might think, "Yeah, I know who I am." But do you, really? Taking the time to self -actualize is so worth it. 

The quality of your relationships, the career path you choose, your health, your marriage, your parenting, all stems from that ever evolving knowledge of the person you are. I say ever evolving because you are always changing. The things you see and experience on an everyday basis will change you. It's a never ending process, but that's a good thing!

One important thing to remember through this process, is that you are a valuable being and you deserve to be happy. You know when they say, you're the only person that can make you happy? That's true! No one else knows you better than yourself. No one has to live with your every decision but YOU! You have everything you need to be happy right now. 

Getting to know yourself, and loving yourself will improve the quality of your life.

So, how do you start?

1) Start a journal or a blog: this is a great way to discover things you like/dislike about yourself, or in the beginning, about life in general. 

2) Think about this question, what would you like to change about yourself, and how can you go about doing that? What small changes can you make NOW?

3) Be grateful. Find some time in your day to say five things you are grateful for. Not too hard right? This could be when you're sitting in the train/car, before bed, waiting on line..ect. Start small, for example: I'm grateful that I woke up this morning, or I'm grateful that I'll talk to my mom today. You get the idea. Later on after you've gotten into this habit, you'll find more and more things to be grateful for. 

4) Stay positive. I'll write a blog post about positivity later on, but for now, reach for those better feeling thoughts!

5) Get out there and try new things! Make an effort to do things you enjoy, and to experience things you've never done before. 

This list could go on, and on. once you start, you'll find new ways of appreciating yourself, and your life!

I visited a friend of mine last week at her house out in Long Island. She’s married, with two kids under the age of four. She left her job in real estate to be a stay at home mom. When I first walked in the door she led me to the living room where she’d put out drinks and appetizers. Her house was immaculate, her kids were tidy and quietly playing, and I could smell dinner being cooked. It blew my mind, and I have to admit, it made me feel less.

We chatted about our lives, and who we’d run into lately, people from the old crowd, current events, and the whole time she was just so calm and collected, even as the kids spilled their drinks and jumped on the furniture.

As the evening wound down, I just had to ask her how she did it all. She looked at me with a smile, and said, “I just have too.” She continued on, telling me about how she never had a minute to herself, and how sometimes she regretted leaving her job. She said it wasn't easy, but it was worth it to spend time with the kids.

I left feeling somewhat embarrassed that I wasn't doing as much as I could. I walked into my house, looked around and thought, I’m going to try.

Working a full time job, and taking care of the home is not easy. When I finish working the last thing I want to do is clean the dishes, or do laundry. But what I've learnt is that doing those things, is what makes a house a home.

So this week, I pushed myself to do a little cleaning everyday- by Wednesday it became maintenance really, and cooking something good for dinner. And can I say, I am so satisfied. Walking into my home now, to a clean house, and a full refrigerator makes me feel like I’m getting somewhere.

This may seem like a no-brainer to some women, but it’s not easy for me. I read blogs where women sew clothes for their kids, or make drapes, and clean the house, and cook three meals a day, and have time to participate in the PA. These women are superwomen. I am not, yet.

The meals I cooked this week: